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The Flat |
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Where better to start the chair review section than in the home of Damian (i.e. me)? Yes, the pub would be far better but no one else wanted to go and drinking on your own is considered alcholism. Still, at least this way I only have to walk to the fridge everytime I want another drink instead of all the way to the bar. You may have thought that the chair count in a one-bedroom flat would be limited, but you'd be wrong as I found out to my shock. I can actually seat 12 people at one time - possibly a couple more if people got a bit friendly on the sofas. We begin in the bedroom... BedroomThe first chair we come across is this one:
Where? You ask. Well, let's take a bit of a closer look...
Still not convinced? Take my word for it that there is a chair under there. It's one of those mass-produced chairs that you find everywhere from schools, to waiting rooms, to exam rooms. Currently we are using it to store my trousers on and since I cannot be bothered to move them all, I cannot tell you exactly what it is like to sit in. I can safely assume, however, thats its one of those really hard things that are uncomfortable when you first sit down, and get exponentially worse during you time you're sat in it until you no longer have any feeling in your behind.
This chair, however, is a completely different matter. It originally came from B&Q and was so comfortable that my mum made me go back the next day to get her one. It was a little difficult to slide the seat and back on, but it was well worth the effort. I could sit in this thing for days. The chair also comes with a number of special features: it can be folded for easy storage or transportation, and, since it is a director's chair, sitting in it can also make you seem far more important than you actually are. I attempted to try out this feature on my family by sitting in it and ordering them about, but all I got was 'stop being so cheeky', 'go and do the washing up', and 'speak to me like that once more and your face will shortly be getting up close and personal with a brick wall'. Maybe this was because I had not written my name on the back, or possibly because my family are just really mean. CorridorComing out of the corridor we pass a cupboard, inside which is hiding another chair.
This is the Cupboard of Crap TM, where we dump all the stuff that we should probably get rid of but might come in useful some day. Mostly there is a load of empty boxes in here that have come from various ebay purchases. They've been kept due to my thinking 'these will come in handy when I get round to selling things on ebay', but I have gotten round to selling things and the boxes are still sat there. Back to the chair... There is a reason why this chair is in the Cupboard of Crap TM. It is the most horrible chair ever in the known universe. It's cheap, tacky, uncomfortable to sit on, looks like it'll fall apart when you sit on it, and could really do with being thrown in the nearest tip. But I can't because it belongs to the landlord :( Kitchen
There are 3 chairs like this in the kitchen and are the sterotypical type you find around kitchen tables. They're not bad to sit in, but since the longest time I've ever sat on one was whilst eating I can't really comment on long-haul sittings. 2 of the chairs are suffering from just general wear and tear, but the third is reasonably beaten up as the landlord used it to stand on when he was fitting the bathroom. Since the bathroom still isn't finished, he may well need to stand on it again at some point but I've given up waiting for him to do so. Living roomThe last chair in the flat is this one:
It was probably a mistake to photograph it in front of my dvds as you're probably all now trying to read what they are, but I'm sure eventually you'll get round to studying the subject of the photo. This is a chair from Ikea that I got when I found out that the director's chair wouldn't fit under the desk in my old old old house. It's not as good as the director's chair, but it's still pretty comfy and is kind on my bum when I sit typing on the computer. Very cleverly it has both the seat and the back padded, which is most handy. SummaryThis brings us to the end of this quick tour of the chairs in my flat. I hope you have enjoyed it. The best one is of course the director's chair, and the worst is the piece of $%!# that's hidden away in the cupboard and which will hopefully stay there for all eternity. Now off you go and count the number of chairs in your home. - Damian |
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